“I AM A WINNER”!!!

This is my definition of fighting "My" depression. What is yours?
This is my definition of fighting “My” depression. What is yours?

 

There is something that I want to share with you…Share with the world…… There is a lot I want to tell you, but I don’t want to let a lot out because of the mere fact, I want you to get to know a little about  me each day.

Since I was 17, I  have been fighting with  DEPRESSION. Where it came from,well, I have a  mental illness history on my father’s side; And the harder I get close to God the more satan tries to bring “oldies” back into my life. Today, I am having a depression episode… I am emotional and I really do not want to do anything today but I have to keep working hard so I can have a better life then where I am now. I can not accept this life I am in today, I want better….But with having depression, It is hard to do what I need to do-Talking to God (which is my motivation) I strive to do what needs to be done.

Do I still feel depressed after speaking to God? Yes and sometimes No. It depends on the situation-but  it is because of God’s Strength & Perseverance that I am able to get through my STORMS.

I use to take medication, which made me sleepy, that is “one ” of the reason I stop taking them. There was a time that I would go on and off the  medicine, which comes to my “second” reason: I believed that I did not need it as much as the Psychiatrist propose. I am proud to say that It has been 2 years since I have been off my medication. Do I need it now because I am having an episode?  I still say, no!! I want to fight this and I am not going to rely on a pill.

 In the past, around my early teens and early 20″s I needed the medicine desperately because I was not in control. I can say now, that I am in control of  “Erica”-and I do not need the medication anymore.It really does not benefit me at all-once the pill wears off then what do you do? You take another one and another one after that- it never ceases! It is almost like drinking or smoking constantly-once the high wears off, you are back to reality.

What gets me through my illness is God and I am going to depend on Him ( I am not trying to be religious, it is just my belief in Him).  I am not downing anyone that has depression and is  taking their medication for their illness- you are not me and I am not you. Not everyone can do what I do or what I have done. I do believe that people that have depression, if you feel that you are ready to stop, then stop. However, if you are not ready, then continue taking your medication. Just do what you feel. I did and I am doing great, I just have my days. DON’T! stop taking the medicine because of me, this is just my theory and what I feel is right for my MIND,BODY and SPIRIT 🙂

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