What will YOU Choose?

Sky-is-the-limit

 

 

For the first time in my life I am beginning to want to live and breath my music, I don’t want to go to work without having done something with my music career. I have never felt this invigoration of wanting to work my hardest at something I love and want. This career is not only about me wanting to do what I love financially but about my creator. The one that gave me this miraculous gift. It was not for Him, I would not have this gift that I can’t wait to share around the world.

I’ve been thinking to myself: why do I sleep, get up, and go to a job that does nothing for me but pay bills. My job only uses 15% of my brain, that is it! I know most people would disagree with my philosophy  but when you want more in life then what you are doing now, your mindset would or will be just like mines. Like I said before I am going to make better decisions . My mom always said,” Never Settle for Less”

And that is what I am choosing to do: The sky is the limit and I can go as high as I want to go until God says,” This is where you need to be”!

Love and God Bless

2nd Chance

Second Chances

I wish God would let me start my life over at a certain age…Maybe 17? That is where all hell broke lose and I made the most stupid decisions in my life, If I could go back to 17, I would say, “Stupid!-it is going to be alright just concentrate on God, yourself and your music career.  If you continue  down this road you will make your life a living HELL!”

As I type this post I reminisce on how I am going to be 30 next month, the big 30….And nothing has been accomplished in my life. I am not going to even complain because I chose what I chose, now I have to see what I can do different to make my life better (financially, spiritually, mentally and physically) I will not sit around and mope about this and about that: That will not fix anything. My actions of 2016 will determine how I would like my life to be.

I might be getting a second chance, but just not at 17.So, I guess I will take that and run with it. JESUS TAKE THE WHEEL……….

 

Jesus-take-wheel

Spiritual Attack or Mental illness 2

Mental Illness

 

 

It is day two of not thinking about taking medicine for what the “doctor” says I have. I have been talking to God through out the day and I have been meditating and reading my word. And when things, I feel like are going to bother me I say these words, SLOW TO ANGER ( multiple times in my head)that is to remind me of what God had spoke to my spirit two days ago. 

Ever since I made the declaration to really spend my time with God, I’ve changed a little. I can’t wait to see a DRAMATIC CHANGE! But that all starts with me.

I can say that yesterday I was praying through to get myself ready for work… I cried and prayed to not quit my job, because I want my singing career so bad… I yearn for my music, God is the reason for this voice and the songs I write. And I am going to share it with the world very soon…. When I did go to work yesterday, I was smiling because I was thinking, I am actually building my craft, working on my music career. Dad, you said I was wasting my time ( and you were right) but I am now pushing and STRIVING. 

I want to say, “I thank all the people who prayed and believe in what I want to do with my life.”

The decisions you make will make a big difference in your spiritual life with God,and your future.

Spiritual Attack or Mental illness?

Spiritual Warfare

I know I am going back and forth about this mental illness that the “doctors” supposedly diagnose me with. For the longest I have been on and off medication and for the past 2 years or  more, I have not been taking any meds at all. And I think I have been doing well.  I know in my previous post I said that I was going to get back on my medication but for some reason:I am sitting back thinking,trying to convince myself that I do need them but my heart is saying something different.

Before 17 years old, I was fine… Yes I was emotionally abused, alone, suffered with an eating disorder (kind of still do, but by the grace of God I am controlling my eating), cried so much everyday, lived in fear and had a  very bad temper —-I believe my temper is under control because of God, not saying that there want be a day that something will make me explode but I learn to not let every little thing get me angry, I have learn to let things go. Everything mention above came from my past and what was done to me at an early age

So, I am at this point of  starting to believe that my situation that was  diagnose as an mental illness might just be satan trying to kill me (In the bible it says, satan is here to kill steal and destroy)  http://www.biblestudytools.com/asv/john/10-10.html, Now I am not saying that a situation can’t be from mental illness  but my situation is different. I believe that if you are on the medicine, start going back to your past to see what made you start taking the medication—this does not mean get off it completely because you have found out why you are taking it, but just don’t be on the medicine all your life not ever thinking about what caused you to start taking the medicine in the first place.

So, the reason why I have not decide to get back on the medication is  because I feel in my heart that this is a spiritual attack and satan is trying to ruin what God has for me. If you take the pill only on occasions when you feel like you need it.  Start thinking about your past and what started you on the meds.

This is just my opinion and I believe that it might help someone who wants to stop or they don’t believe that they are mentally ill. If you have been on the meds for a while don’t just quit cold turkey. That was my decision and in my heart I believe that I really did not need the meds as the doctor said that I needed them.

For a while I am going to monitor myself and stay in my word everyday. And if I see  a change in my behavior and the way I think from spending genuine time with God constantly and consistently…. Then He will be my medication everyday…..I will not miss a day spending time with Him ever again. Whether it is reading my bible, talking to him, praying, fasting, or meditating.I will spend time with Him. I should of done this along time go ( I have but not consistently) . I sing to God all the time because that is the voice He gave me I am going to share it with Him all the time  as well 🙂

For a whole month starting today ( 06/08/2016 Wednesday)  I will decide the fate of: Spiritual Attack or Mental illness

TO BE CONT……….

 

Talking about mental illness

Mental Illness

 

 

I know I have written  about 2-3 post about Bipolar. But I will say, that I think that I am better with it… I do believe that I might  need to take a low dosage of anti-depressants but other then that I think I am fine. I mean, I’ve been controlling it (because of God) for 3 years. I don’t rely on the medicine at all ( I made a choice to stop taking it) but every once in the while I feel like I need a little push. But other then that I am good. Plus, I am able to get through everyday without having any episodes because I spend time with God and I talk to him almost everyday. That is how I am able to not get sick mentally. I think back to when I was not spending time with God and how I snapped at the age of 17 and was in and out of the mental institution and taking all kinds of medicine for what I was diagnose with. I will get into that later. But, at the end of the day , When you spend time with God, you will be able to handle  a lot of things that you thought you could not handle. It might take you a while to get through it like I did. But with God: Praying,Reading the bible, Spending time with Him… You will be able to began getting healed and letting your life be controlled by Him.

Music Career…. Loading :)

Just wanted to let ya’ll  know that I copyrighted one of my songs and I bought my domain name for my singing website. I am very proud of myself and I am still awaiting for my song to be registered. Hopefully it does not take up to 8 months, because if that is the case then I am going to have to find another way to copyright my songs without anyone trying to steal them.  That is all for now. Have a bless day and I will tell you more of the updates on my website and copyrighting my songs. Also, each pay period I will be copyrighting each of my songs. Love all of ya’ll