What I feel and What I need to do!


I know I need to get myself out there to be seen, the only problem is I need guidance.                               Spiritual guidance, That one person to say,” Hey! Keep Going!

I have this feeling of moving forward, keep pushing, don’t give up. And then, there is the other part of me that just want to let go. Why is it that I still have hope left for myself? Why want I just give up and leave this world? The only answer I have for these weary questions are, GOD! If I did not know God or if He was not in my life- I do not believe that I would be here.

My eyes are tired from crying and my heart cries on the inside but I keep pushing because of God’s strength. One part of me wants to live and the other part wants to die. So, while those two fight, I get tired but the part of me that wants to LIVE is WINNING. Now, if you would of spoke to me a long time ago, my answer would of been to just let the part that wants to die, win. I guess when you grow up and you keep fighting.You start to see what you can do with your life and if you can succeed in doing what you want.

I really want to make it in my singing. I just need some guidance. I make YouTube videos, which help me use my voice and keeps me singing. I constantly think of songs that I can sing for my You Tube channel. I have songs that I have written ( all I need is those songs recorded) I know I need to get myself out there to be seen. I am going to do my best to get myself out there, it is just hard. But I know I can do it and I will. I guess I need to put more effort, I NEED TO WORK HARDER.

I just notice that in some of my post, I always find an answer to my problems. I guess I need to write in my blogs in order to get my answer, huh? lol.  I will say, “It is very hard pushing myself, I always wish that I had that one person to push me to where I need to go with my singing career (mom). Since, I don’t have that, I will have to push my own self. God be with me!


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