Something happened to me at church…….
Yesterday and even on Saturday I was not prepared to sing at Church ( May 7, 2017, Sunday). I did not want to sing and I felt so down and irritated. So I told my pastor that I was not spiritually ready to sing and I do not know if I am just depressed or is it my “diagnoses” of being bi-polar? As I said a while back in one of my old post: I do not claim to be bi-polar at all. I really feel that what I went through at 18 years old was something that any normal person would go through. I just was in a lot of pain and did not know how to control my emotions. ( I will talk about that in a later post of how that all began).
But back to what I was saying, So after I explained all that to him, he then tells me NO! In such a calming way, lol. He explains to me why I should get on that stage and fight through the problem I am dealing with, and that what we fight are spiritual battles- ( Ephesians 6 ) In Ephesians chapter 6 it explains how we are fighting what we can’t see. And my pastor basically said, “You will defeat the
devil by going on stage and worshiping God through worship and song”. And in my spirit, I accepted and understood what he was saying. And I did it! I persevered!
After I sung, I sat down and felt like a warrior. I knew right then that I had won my battle. It felt good. I felt relief. That put a whole new perspective on my life. To just push through, Persevere ( Galatians 5 talks about the fruits of the spirit) and persevering is one of the fruits. My pastor helped me to understand what it really feels like to fight the battle, and know that you made it through. I know that I have fought many battles because I am still alive today.
But this battle was different for me. It had something to do with my singing. I keep saying and I will always say it, “How can you have a gift and not feel like using it, especially when it is something God has given you”? I guess that is where
satan comes in and tries to attack every avenue of your life when he knows that God has something awesome for you and that God gave you such an awesome talent and gift that satan does not want the world to hear or see!
So I will continue to persevere. Starting today.
Remember this : There will always be that one person that can impact your life, to change something about you so that you can move on to the next chapter of your life.
What is one of your fruits that you need to work on? I mean, we all (at some degree) need to work on all of the fruits of the Holy Spirit. But what is one that you have a hard time dealing with?
Mines is self-control and perseverance.
Not only have my pastor impact me, but I have had a lot of people and loves one in my life teach me a thing or two and made me take a second to rethink everything in my life. One of them is my husband and brother.
And to end this post. Here is a song that I know God wanted to keep dear to my heart. Maybe it will opened up your heart to Him