As a Christian…….Do I really know God like I should? Do I trust Him like I should? Those are the questions that rummage through my heart. Today, I have come to realize that the problems that I am facing in my life —- I don’t even care about anymore…. I just tell God, whatever happens, happens:
If I lose my job, I don’t even care, If I am broke, I don’t even care and etc,etc,etc
In my mind, if I am going to live paycheck to paycheck then I rather die. Because, that is not the life I want to live—-There are goals that I want to accomplish and working for someone puts a limit on my money and how I need to use it to better my life…. I want to be a Christian Singer and living paycheck to paycheck want fuel the passion I want to become real in my life.
I am just not going to be concerned about anything anymore. It takes too much out of me to be positive-because I feel that anytime I am positive, nothing goes right or at least some nice changes-would be great!
I feel stuck, like I can’t go anymore… And now I sit here trying to figure out how I can become unstuck and just concentrate on making my dreams come true, w/o a stupid job being in my way. Even though I feel the way I feel….Some where in my heart–I still need God.
So, I ask you…..Do I really know God like I should, and Do I trust Him like I should? Better yet, Do I have any faith in Him,like I should?
There is a life that I see so many people go through… Follow the same foot print as the other…. I want to go the opposite and have a better life, an amazing life before I leave this earth–I don’t want the children that God bless me with to struggle like I have and do now (at least not financially)- Don’t want my future children to struggle at all-but definitely not financially. There will be trials-and I can’t stop that, but financially I want them to be alright.
The moral of this blog: I want God drenched in my life but I want to be financially free, and when my children come out of that age when they start to notice life I want them to know that financially they have nothing to worry about!!!
The question is: Where do I go and what do I do now? I don’t want to go to work tomorrow knowing that I did nothing to change my life and to have the Christian Singing Career that I want!!!!!!