Listen 2 My Heart Vlog#22 and #23

I put these two vlogs with each other because they coincide together. The first video is almost a story leading up to the reason of why I felt depress for so long. Sorry for the video quality. I will get better. Let me know your thoughts.

 

 

Advertisements

Taking control of my LIFE!

Fuel is food not theraphy

Today, I realized something. I do not think I tackled what I went through in my past. The reason I say this is because out of emotions today, I stuffed myself and bitched until I just started crying as I swallowed food that I didn’t want in my body. I have cried before when I stuffed my face out of emotion and then in return I made myself throw up ( I was on borderline of being bulimic)

I have always said that the verbal abuse that I received as a child did not have any effect on me, but I noticed that today that it was a lie! It has affected me. That is why I can say so proudly that I am fat, a big girl, big ass and etc. I don’t say it to boost my self-esteem. I say it to beat anyone that thinks about it or wants to say it. So, if they do come with the verbal abuse, I will feel better that I accept who I am.

The good thing about this is that I realized that those words did traumatize me. And now I have to fix what was done to me. I have accepted I am weak when it comes to food and discipline in my life, period. But the other good thing about that is, I choose to become better, I choose to beat what satan is trying to stop God from doing in my life. I cry as I write this blog because I want to WIN IN LIFE and I am not going to let this beat me. I can’t and I won’t!

 

Drastic Changes

Do not Rely On A Job!!!

From what I’ve experienced yesterday, I am through with employers! I am going to find every opportunity whether through working at a job or making money other ways so that I can invest and get out of working for people!  Jobs are temporary in my life and are only there to pay my bills and invest. I have come to the conclusion that I can not stay at a job for too long because if I do, I will mess up my life even more (this comes from experience). I do not care how much I make hourly… If I am not using the money I make to invest then it is a waste of time in my eyes.

Take the opportunity to work for yourself and to answer to no one!

Do not get caught up in being at a job too long because they can and will let you go in a heartbeat w/o giving you an explanation-at least that is with Florida ( Florida is an at-will state)-Meaning they can let you go and they do not have to have a reason why.

 

 

Beauty and Rawness of Singing

This was one of my mother’s favorite songs sung by Whitney Houston. And it is my favorite to sing as well. Whitney Houston and Fantasia Barrino bring tears to my eyes when they sing gospel. Even when they are singing in their genre… They both bring raw emotions and interpret any song they sing from their heart and they give it to the world for people to hear. I pray to God that I get a chance to share my music with the world with the intentions of showing my rawness, and my heart like those two: Whitney Houston and Fantasia Barrino. Let me not forget my girl Kim Walker-she does the same like those two as well. As a singer, you define who you are with your heart and you want people to understand what you are singing. You want to connect with the world. You never know who is listening and what God may be doing in their life when you sing.

 

 

 

God Made A Way

INTRO:

 

Vlog #7 of Listen 2 My Heart: My Back Against The Wall-Part 2

-In this video I am just explaining what happen that got me close to being out on the street and how God just came up and made everything better( Vlog #7 is an update from Vlog #6 -Listen 2 My Heart… God used people to help me- This whole situation taught me to not expect God to do what I think He should do… His thoughts are higher than our thoughts and His ways are higher than our Ways… Always remember that…Please: Listen 2 My Heart and I pray that this helps you and speaks to your spirit.

My Back Against The Wall

As I make more Vlogs, I found myself just sharing my life, my heart with the world because I want to portray to everyone on this earth that we all are going to go through something, whether it is our mistake or something we have no control over! This video was made while I was hurting and trusting in God. You can’t see it but it’s there….I was enduring it while I was making this video.There will be an update soon on how I over came my obstacle-And how I am in the lead of winning this race! I want to share my worship with you in my next video!!!

 

 

 

PEACE

When God said, ” He will give you peace that will surpass all understanding”, He meant that! Today, and Tomorrow ( February 8th) I have to find a way to come up with at least $200-$300 dollars by the 9th of February. And I will tell you what that money is for, once I find out how my situation will turn out this Friday. And I will tell it whether it is good or bad, because that is what my blog and YouTube videos are about…..Listening 2 My Heart-telling the good and the bad, singing when I feel like and when I don’t feel like it-Even if I am embarrassed to talk about my situation.

Even though I do not know the outcome, I am at peace with it. Strange, huh? So, to be continued……

Listen 2 My Heart

Starting with this video….It shows that this YT channel is not all about singing. It is about my heart, my life! I try to portray that in all my videos: The real, and the genuine of me ( My Heart). My brother asked me one time, ” If I just want a singing career or if I want to make an impact on the world?” I want both but what really matters to me out of the two is making an impact on others (The World). This video is to reach out to the broken and more. Make an impact! Try to make a difference!

God…… “Make My Brokenness,Beautiful!”

I have this same song on my channel. But the reason that this song was sung again was because God kept putting this verse on my heart: ” Will Your Grace Run Out” And the way I was feeling, I had to sing this song. Because now, there is a different meaning to me of what this song means at this time. Will you allow God to show you how beautiful you are in the midst of your pain and sorrow? This was my worship to God, and I knew He heard His child crying out.